UNLEASH THE INNER FOUR YEAR OLD (Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles)

IMG_6921So… Has anyone REALLY ever died from eating cookie dough, or is someone out there just trying to damper our hopes and dreams? This is an honest question. I cannot tell you how many spoonful’s, cups, even POUNDS of cookie dough I have consumed in my life, and I’m relatively normal!

This whole salmonella thing (or salmon-In-Ella, as I pronounce it), is it real? TO THE INTERNET!!!

According to the CDC salmonella is estimated “to cause one million illness in the United States, with 19,000 Hospitalizations and 380 deaths.” Oh. Well. What’s my chances that I’ll actually get it… I might take them all for the love of the dough!

In my 24 years I have tried a lot of dough, in 2012 I was on the quest for the perfect low-fat chocolate chip cookie recipe. I strongly believed if the dough tasted good the cookie would come out good. You see, there is one problem with that theory, all cookie dough taste good, and even when it doesn’t taste spectacular it is still not that bad!!!IMG_6926

I strongly believe that cookie dough is the reason that I will never have abs. I can run 8 to 15 miles a day, and come home and “make cookies”, end up eating a good quarter cup of dough and wake up wondering why my weight loss plan is not working. Well, maybe I will add a mile or two to compensate for the doughy desire that I need to fill.

While today’s creation will not help your diet, it will not make you die of Salmonella and that’s a promise! This cookie dough is eggless, super creamy and covered in chocolate, what more could you want? This is the first time I ever made a cookie dough with sweetened condensed milk and I might look into using it more in the future, the dough is super smooth and creamy, what dreams are made of.

If your sweet tooth does not include a love for super sweet, sugary, creamy goodness, do not even bother with this. While it is perfect for the cookie lover, the average Joe of desserts might not find these too amusing. Kids, young adults, and all of my coworkers came begging back for more, and hopefully you will too!

Special Shout out to Zach who submitted this idea!

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Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles

Have your cake and eat it too with these delectable truffles. Egg free will leave you worry free and quickly floating on a bed of happiness and chocolate. Makes roughly 4 dozen.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

3/4 cup brown sugar, packed

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condense milk

1 cup mini chocolate chips

2 cups melting wafers for the outer shell (I used a bag of Ghirardelli that I found at Wegman’s)

Toping extras (mini chocolate chips, crushed Oreos, sprinkles, white chocolate)

Directions:IMG_6918

  1. Using a mixer cream together butter and brown sugar, make sure to mix till smooth, no brown sugar clumps!
  2. Add vanilla
  3. Mix in flour 1 cup at a time until incorporated.
  4. Mix in sweetened condense milk until smooth and incorporated with the dough.
  5. Stir in chocolate chips to taste.
  6. Cover bowl and refrigerate until dough hardens, 45 minutes to an hour
  7. Roll cookie dough into 1 inch balls on a wax paper lined cookie sheet (I did not have wax paper, I used parchment paper, a slightly more expensive mistake)
  8. Place the balls in the fridge until the chocolate is melted.
  9. Melt chocolate wafers (microwave, double boiler, I’ll leave this method up to you)
  10. Using a toothpick or knife stick the balls into the chocolate until covered, remove and place on wax paper to dry.
  11. Once dry, keep refrigerated until ready to serve.
  12. Best if eaten within 1-3 days of making.

Blogging with the consistency of a oh look something shiny (White Chocolate Fuggy Brownie)

You take one week off and BOOM, a year flies by. Sorry world, your sweet addiction of Not So Culinary Graduate was halted for a year, an entire freaken year! Well I hope you all did something fun in that time, I know I did… I think.

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MMMM warm white chocolate brownies

I’ve progressed my running career. I’m now a running machine! I’ve ran several half marathons, a bunch of 10 milers, countless 5ks and now I am prepping for the Chicago Marathon in October, HOW COOL IS THAT!??!?!?! If you want to stay updated with my running life please follow me on Instagram @Lauren_Runs_Here.

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Look at that batter

I moved too, that’s cool right!?!?! Not far, just down the road in Pennsylvania from where I was living, but the house is so much cooler, and the kitchen! Actually the kitchen is still in the works, I only have one cookie tray that fits in the oven, but the stove is nice, brand new Viking stove.

Does moving feel weird to anyone else? You stay in one house for a while, you get used to where everything is, the smell, the squeaks, it becomes so familiar, and then you move. I am still trying to figure out where the silverware drawer is, and if my house is haunted or if it’s just the wind.

Speaking of changes, Not So Culinary Graduate might be changing a little to. While I love bringing you a different recipe twice a month, we might switch it up now and then and do a review or a rant. I’m not saying I won’t throw in a drink recipe or the cookie of the week recipe, I’m just saying be prepared for anything!

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Pre-oven

In the meantime to keep tradition alive and the drinks flowing, this week I made a Fudgy white chocolate brownie. The tops and the side were crispy and slightly crunchy while the inside was sweet, gooey, and fudgy! The white chocolate was an interesting contrast from my typical regular chocolate, throw some chocolate chips on top and you got the best white brownie ever!

Fudgy White Chocolate Brownies

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup unsalted butter

12oz or 1 bag of white chocolate chips

3/4 Cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1/2 Teaspoon of salt

1 Teaspoon vanilla

1 Cup all-purpose flour

Directions;

  1. Melt butter and cholate chips in a microwave safe bowl. Try this 30 seconds at a time to not burn the butter.
  2. Add sugar, eggs, salt and vanilla and mix until incorporated.
  3. Mix in flour till combined.
  4. Spread into a Creased 8” by 8” pan for 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cool before cutting.

Bedside Confessions (Chocolate Malt Cupcakes)

What the hell is malt? Like what is it? I understand it’s some sort of powdered milk substance, I also understand its delicious! But I just do not understand, how do you make it, where does it come from, is it dairy? I DON’T GET IT.
The first time I had a chocolate malt shake I was in California with Courtney and I was honestly skeeved out at first. The first problem is we were walking into a fast food joint, I do not do fast food. Seriously it kills me supporting it, the fake and gross things that go into fast food, dkfjasod;ehfj, I’m getting chills just thinking about it. After I finally walked in and order a Chocolate Malt shake I knew this summer would be awesome.
I never had a malt shake before California. I was baffled, did they make this everywhere? Can I get it in Pennsylvania? Why have my parents never told me about this? Can I have this every day? How bad is this for me!?!?!?! The malt intensifies the chocolate making it sweet, but not too sweet. It also gives it a grainier consistence which is weirdly addictive. I LOVE IT, I AM A MALT ADDICT.

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Back in PA I find malt on my shopping list way to frequently. I hate to admit it but I keep a bottle on my nightstand, just encase of that midnight milkshake (you think I’m kidding but I’m not!). The serving size is 2 TBSP but I will not deny dumping a quarter cup in a 12 ounce shake. I have pretty much tried it in everything and anything from chocolate milk to dipping bread in it, just like hot sauce, I will put that shit on everything.
My mom asked me to make cupcakes this weekend the only parameters being chocolate. The cupcakes were for a co-worker that we have both worked with. Jon turned 25 on Monday and this food loving fiend has asked if he could move in with us so he could enjoy my mother’s cooking and my baking all the time. We said no.
Anyways it just so happens that Jons favorite summer time drink is also chocolate malt shakes, so making a chocolate cupcake with a malt frosting was just common sense. This cupcake recipe below was originally used for a 2 layer cake and makes close to 3 dozen cupcakes. Also the batter needs to be mixed longer than normal, I would say a good 3-5 minutes or else you get clumps of baking soda/ flour still visible in the cupcake. Do not let the shorting in the frosting scare you it’s really VERY good. The malt and this frosting go down smooth, and easily makes enough to frost all the cupcakes – that is if you resist the temptation to eat the entire bowl.

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So turn your shake into a cupcake, and enjoy summer through all seasons!
Chocolate Malt Cupcake
Yields about 32 cupcakes
Ingredients Cake:
2 1/3 Cup Lukewarm Water
3/4 Cup vegetable oil
3 Large eggs
1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
2 1/3 Cup Sugar
3/4 Cup unsweetened Cocoa Powder
2 1/2 Cups All-Purpose Flour
2 Teaspoons baking soda
1 Teaspoon Salt
Ingredients Frosting:
1 Cup Unsalted Butter, Room Temp
1 Cup Vegetable Shortening
1/2 Cup malted Milk
4 Tablespoons Unsweetened, Dutch Process Cocoa Powder
5 Cups Confectioner Sugar
Directions:
1. To make the cake combine the first 6 ingredients and mix well.
2. Mix in the flour, baking soda and salt well until combined
3. Bake on 350 degrees, for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean
Frosting:
1. Whip the butter and vegetable shortening until fluffy
2. Add the malt and cocoa powder
3. Add the 5 Cups of confectioner sugar 1 cup at a time
4. Wait until the cupcakes are cool before you frost
ENJOY!

Drunken Banana (Fool Proof, Drunk Proof, Easy Banana Muffins)

It starts at eight am, the phone calls, the emails, the issues, the drama. From eight am till five you are chained. Chained to a chair (which between you and me is not that comfortable), and doused with other people’s problems and lit on fire. It sucks. Day in and day out we continue this pattern. Issue after issue, crisis after crisis, and not one person likes it; not you, not the person on the other end of the phone and definitely not your boss. But we wake up each morning and do it anyway because we are crazy.

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Anyways, ranting aside, we all hate work, that’s a given. But on the occasion we all like to do nice things for our coworkers,Martini recipe like bake them chocolate chip banana muffins for breakfast, to show them how much you appreciate them not literally lighting you on fire when you complain. But also on occasion you like to drink away a hard day at work, and three key lime pie martinis in you realize those muffins are not going to bake themselves.

 

Coworkers around the world, I have done you a favor. Drunk proof muffins!! *I think I am required by law to say that if you are under the influence take my ideas lightly, while it might be fun for me to make muffins and risk burning the house down, you might want to think twice about this idea.* After a few cocktails sprawled out on the chase lounge by the pool, those damn muffins still linger in the back of your head. Well have no fear, follow this recipe somewhat and your muffins will come out wonderful!

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 Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

These muffins are super simple to make and one of my house hold favorite. When the bananas go bad and the fruit flies start buzzing be sure to reach for this recipe and not waste those sweet, beautiful bananas.

Makes roughly 24 muffins

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup butter, softened

1/2 Cup sugar

1/2 Cup packed brown sugar

2 Eggs

1 – 1/2 Cups mashed ripe bananas (bout 3)

3 Teaspoons Vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

3 Teaspoons baking soda

1 bag of chocolate chips (or less, to taste really)

Directions:

  1. In a stand mixer cream butter and sugars
  2. Beat in eggs, bananas and vanilla.
  3. Combine mixture until combined.
  4. Stir in the chocolate chips
  5. Fill greased or paper lined muffin cups half way
  6. Bake at 350* for 15 to 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of a muffin comes out clean.
  7. Wait 5 minutes before removing from pan.

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How to Murder a 12 Year Old’s Dreams (The Best Brownies Ever)

What was the best birthday cake you ever had? On my 12th birthday I dreamed of my cake: rich in chocolate, light, melt in your mouth, the center piece of my birthday party. I never got it.

I have always been particular about my birthday cakes, and my mother has always delivered. Growing up you could say I had an elaborate imagination. I once had a fish themed birthday party and I wanted my cake to be a fish tank. You can bet your bottom dollar that my mom made a chocolate cake decorated as one. On my 18th birthday I told my mom to get creative, actually I told her that I just wanted cannoli’s.  She made a four layer chocolate cake with chocolate mousse icing, and cannoli filling between the layers. I still remember it today; the icing was so light, and so rich in chocolate with a hint of coffee flavor, and the cake, so moist, so light, paired perfectly with the sweet creamy cannoli filling with crunches of mini chocolate chips. It almost makes up for my twelfth birthday, almost.

Brownies

The best chocolate brownie ever!

Twelve was a weird age for me, while I was playing out in the dirt and on the basketball court; all of my friends were growing up and becoming more girly. They all started to care about their hair, boys, lip gloss and being popular. I just cared if I could make ten foul shots in a row, or make the game winning goal in field hockey (some things never change). I was torn between brushing my long matted hair, or cutting it all off to a short pixy cut. Things were definitely changing.

I made a big decision for my birthday that year, I wanted a big chocolate cake with pink icing (are you finding a pattern here with the chocolate). Pink. This was a big decision for me, normally I did purple, green, white, chocolate, chocolate with candy on top, never pink. My mother was slightly thrilled, I was finally embracing my girl side, maybe next I would start brushing my hair and wearing dresses (spoiler alert that did not come until college, the dress part at least). My mother agreed with the biggest smile on her face to make this the best cake ever. You know when your mother says something and you know she is being truthful, she says it with passion and the biggest smile on her face.

Chocolate milk with chocolate brownies... Can you ever have too much chocolate?

Chocolate milk with chocolate brownies… Can you ever have too much chocolate?

My birthday was just like any other, I played outside all morning with my neighbor. Somewhere between racing dirt bikes and climbing the sappy evergreen trees I decided I had to come home to get ready for my party. As soon as I pulled the heavy sliding glass door open, I could tell something was not as it should be.  Have you ever watched a show on TV where the evil genius has this crazy smirk on his face, it was kind of like that. My mother quickly ushered me out of the kitchen, assuring me that everything was fine and that company would be coming soon, I should shower. She was my mom, what else should little naive me believe?

Let’s fast-forward through the party; it was great, family and friends everywhere, different pasta and potato salads sitting on paper plates with flies trying to land on them, all my uncles were drunk, you know typical children’s birthday party. Time for cake.

I sat down at the big dining room table, feeling somewhat lost in the magnitude of the chair at the head of the table.  There was no cake yet, this should have been my first warning sign. The singing began all upbeat and happy, I saw my mother bringing the cake tray from the kitchen to the dining room. Something was not right; I did not see a cake. There was no pink fluffy frosting, no cotton candy clouds of white, no rainbows bursting from the cake in magical glee, in fact there wasn’t even a cake. In front of me my mom dropped with a thud, a flat, heavy, uncooked version of a chocolate cake. No icing, no candles, no nothing.  When the birthday song was over, which now sounded to me like a gaggle of drowning frogs, I did not know what to do. There were no candles to blow out, no wish to make, and no cake! My mom blurted out, “surprise, brownies instead!” everyone started laughing. Was it me they were laughing at, my misfortune, my flat, icingless cake?

I brushed it off. I was 12, tough 12 year olds don’t cry. The cake was never cut, it was thrown out. We had cookies and ice cream instead. Apparently my mom was so busy with preparing everything else she forgot a few key ingredients in the cake.

I never forgave her. Okay that sounds horrible, don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. But after that I was always hesitant to put my trust in her baking, especially after a  few years later when she tried to make me cookies. But that’s another story.

 

Watch out, Courtney couldn't even wait till they were out of the oven!

Watch out, Courtney couldn’t even wait till they were out of the oven!

The Best Brownies Ever

While these brownies are super chocolaty and quite possibly the best brownies ever, I have to warn you – the batter is better. If you can muster up the courage to actually eat the brownies you will not be disappointed.

Ingredients:

¾ cup cocoa

½ teaspoon baking soda

2/3 cup melted butter, divided

1/2 Cup boiling water

2 Cups Sugar

2 eggs

1 1/3 Cup Flour

1 Teaspoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon salt

12 oz bag of semi sweet chocolate chip

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350

Combine cocoa and baking soda, mix in 1/3 cup of melted butter and boiling water, mix until combined.

Stir in sugar and remaining butter.

Add flour, vanilla, and salt,  and chocolate chips. Mix well.

Pour into a greased 9×13 pan, bake for 35-40 minutes.

 

Drinking at Work (Irish Car Bomb Cupcake)

Do you know how hard it is to write a post about St. Patrick’s Day when you don’t understand the holiday? I don’t own a single article of green clothing, I’ve never had green beer, I don’t like traditional Irish food, and leprechauns have to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.

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When I was in second grade I tried to “catch a leprechaun” by building an elaborate trap out of Legos, Tupperware, and shiny things. I made the mistake of not telling my mom that I made this, and needless to say I didn’t even catch a fake leprechaun, that’s when I gave up on St. Patrick’s Day. Maybe in Ireland this has a special meaning, maybe Irish people in the states have a connection to this day, maybe one day I will like corn beef and cabbage, but today is not that day.

The only thing I like about St. Patrick’s day is a good Irish Car Bomb, which could be considered offensive to the Irish I suppose. A shot of equal parts Irish whisky and Baileys, dropped into a three quarter glass of Guinness stout. If not taken within thirty seconds of dropping, you can expect this mixture to curdle into an unappetizing mixture that makes you wonder what your stomach is going to do when you drink one. While I do not know the history of this shot, but can almost guarantee this was not invented by the Irish, however has become a staple on St. Patrick’s Day. May the luck of the Irish be with you if you choke down more than 3 of these mixtures, and may what happens in the glass not happen in your stomach.

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Cupcakes for days

While I do like a good shot at the bar, drinking all day at work is not acceptable. However drinking in a cupcake is acceptable. The Irish Car Bomb Cupcake is by far my favorite cupcake that I have made in my entire life. A stout cupcake with a whisky ganache filling and a Bailey’s buttercream frosting gets me every time. This is the one cupcake I will not share the recipe, if you want it made you can find your own recipe, however mine is the best.

May the luck of the Irish be with you!

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Questions or Comments? Please email NotSoCulinaryGraduate@hotmail.com

Confessions of a Lazy Baker (Oatmeal M&M Cookies)

4 million dollar, 4 million, that’s how big my mistake was at work this week. Needless to say I am stressed, and when I’m stressed I eat. On Monday I found myself pacing back and forth outside of a conference room because I wanted left over cookies from their lunch meeting. There were no leftovers.  I raced up and down the aisles at work to get a small bite of chocolate, no one had any. When I was stressed and needed it the most my work let me down.

Cookie dough... Reminder: do not eat all of it.

Cookie dough… Reminder: do not eat all of it.

I decided I was going to make a sweet treat for me, I mean everyone at work. I also lost a bet to one of the departments and promised them cupcakes. But the thing is, on Tuesday when I came home from the gym, I realized I did not have enough butter for a butter cream frosting. I also did not have any cream cheese for a cream cheese frosting. And on top of all of that it was 8:30 pm, I was not going out to get anything. So I settled with cookies.

What I really wanted to make was double chocolate chunk espresso cookies. Well, let me tell you, I did not have anything to make that. No espresso, no Dutch processed coco, and not enough butter. This whole baking thing was starting to stress me out almost as much as my 4 million dollar mistake.

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TO THE INTERNET! I don’t often borrow recipes from the internet but when I do I make sure the recipe is legit. I borrowed Chewy Oatmeal M&M cookies from Sally’s Baking Addiction, AND MAN DID THEY COME OUT WONDERFUL! I made two batches, one for my work fellows and one for the house. For the first batch I followed the recipe to a T. I was pleased how they came out however the cinnamon was throwing me off, something with the cinnamon and the chocolate was not working for me. However it did take me 3 cookies to decide this. For my second batch I dropped the cinnamon and added another teaspoon of vanilla. These came out much better for my liking. Chewy, soft, hearty with the oatmeal, and still sweet with M&M’s thrown in. A perfect distressing snack.

Chewy Oatmeal M&M cookies

Adapted from Sally’s Baking Addiction

Makes roughly 24 cookies

Ingredients

1/2 Cup unsalted butter, room temp

3/4 Cup brown sugar

1/4 Cup granulated sugar

1 Large egg

3 Teaspoons vanilla

1 and 2/3 Old Fashioned rolled oats

1 Cup all-purpose flour

½ Teaspoon baking soda

A bag of M&M added to taste (small or large does not matter, I used large because again, I did not have small)

 

With a stand mixer cream the softened butter and the sugars, add the eggs and vanilla and mix.

Beat in the oats, flour, and baking soda until combined. Stir in the M&Ms/

Preheat the oven to 350. Line pans with parchment paper and bake for 10 minutes or until golden

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These were a hit at work!